Oulipost #14: COLUMN INCHES

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April 14, 2014

The Prompt: Refer to the advertising section or the classifieds in your source newspaper. Create a poem by replacing all of the nouns in your chosen ad segment or classified listing with nouns from one article in the same newspaper. You may use multiple ads/classifieds, presented in the order of your choosing.

 

I thought it might be fun to keep the form of the poem similar to the ads being altered, so I did a poem with each stanza a separate advertisement under one header, the title, as ads tend to appear in my newspaper’s classifieds section.



night vale

 

NIGHT VALE VINDICATION SERVICES

 

Tri-state Custom Retaliation

No order too big or small!

From colleagues

to employers.

We do it all!

Free abuse. Visa/MC accepted.

Wanted:

A legislature experienced in “smurfing.”

(812) 555-⇔∇ΨΩ

Senior Meals for the Week of April 14 

Monday

Not a helluva lot.

Tuesday

French-style meth, “The Pajama Game,” and cookie

Wednesday

Spiced infant, pickled pseudoephedrine, and wheat bread

Thursday

Barbecue _________, red wine, and rye bread

Friday

Closed for Good Friday.

 

Sources: 

The Service & Business Directory of the Evansville Courier & Press, accessed 14 April 2014.

AP. “Police seek answers after 7 dead babies found in an Utah garage.” courierpress.com. Evansville Courier & Press. Web. 14 April 2014.

Duewel, Brian. “Safety in Numbers.” courierpress.com. Evansville Courier & Press. Web. 14 April 2014.

Editor. “Lawmakers talk about meth, but fail to act on the issue.” courierpress.com. Evansville Courier & Press. Web. 14 April 2014.

McFeatters, Ann. “D.C. turns blind eye to disparity in pay.” courierpress.com. Evansville Courier & Press. Web. 14 April 2014.

Staff. “Senior meals for April 14.” courierpress.com. Evansville Courier & Press. Web. 14 April 2014.

 

Note:  The title references a fantastic radio show called Welcome to Night Vale, which is a bit like NPR meets Twin Peaks.  For the third “ad” in my poem, I inverted the process because the ‘article’ was, itself, a public announcement of a dining schedule (for which rest home? Who knows…it didn’t say! Welcome to Night Vale…).

 

Read how other Ouliposters tackled this prompt here.

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7 Comments

Filed under Oulipost, Poetry

7 responses to “Oulipost #14: COLUMN INCHES

  1. LOL! Jody, I don’t know which of the series I like best, they all made me laugh…but there’s something about those “Senior Meals” that takes the cake! 😉

  2. Definitely the senior meals. My mother would love it.

  3. Extra brownie points for the Night Vale reference.

  4. French style meth is so much more…how you say…dignified!

  5. There are weeks when that menu might sound pretty darned good!

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