Indiana Humble Pie
- 26 unresolved arguments, preserved
- Bourbon (substitutions not recommended)
- 1 or more grudges, aged
- Regrets, finely powdered
- Introspection (several cups should suffice)
- 1 friendship, finely diced
- Assorted apologies
In a large skillet, peel and core the arguments; slice 1/8 inch thick. Toss
with enough bourbon to stagger a rhinoceros,
and let seep until saturated. Light a crucible beneath,
and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer,
but don’t let it go unattended. Eventually,
you’ll want to whisk in the grudges, but one at a time,
and stir slowly. They tend to curdle. Now
begin constructing the crust: preheat your memories. Gently
dust an ungreased baking pan with regret, and begin to work
in your introspection, occasionally adding enough
to remain pliable. Mold into a hollowed-out receptacle
worthy of containing the filling entirely, and cover.
Bake until softened, then remove and chill.
Serve over friendship. Apologize to taste.